...Did I do last night?

4:23 am Shit, thank god I threw up on the guy’s lap, otherwise I would’ve ended up cheating on my bf. :-( can you come pick me up :-* Franklin Blv 34 thx :-*
4:25 am ... that’s where my boyfriend lives! You’re kidding, right?
4:29 am ... no it was his brother!!!
4:30 am ... his brother is 11.
#15 07/12/2011 Had a good night?
5:27 pm WHAT A FUCKING AWFUL DAY. Left my car keys in the mailbox. Left the mailbox keys in the car. FML
#14 07/12/2011 Had a good night?
New Jersey
1:02 pm Duuude, I drank about a bottle of vodka yesterday, and just woke up on a couch in someone's apartment with a naked chick lying on me, have a wicked headache and all they have in the fridge is beer.
1:08 pm So what's your problem?
#1 07/11/2011 Had a good night?
1:45 pm Good morning guys. Got some questions about last night: a) who's missing a Rolex (I don't know any rich kids so I guess it's fake) b) what happened to my TV c) why is there salt all over the place? d) who's the guy sleeping on the kitchen floor? e) who the hell stole my front door, it's fucking cold here!
2:02 pm a) Fake Rolex is real and belongs to my girlfriend b) Steve wanted to punch Rambo (but luckily, it turned out his wrist isn't broken) c) you re-enacted Supernatural and tried to fend off the demons d) no idea and e) no idea everything else alright? Michael
3:30 pm no clue whose rolex but i'll take it, TV? the salt was your idea, you and andy and you demon shit and whatnot... the kitchen dude is your new boyfriend (is what you told us) and i took your door because Suzie puked all over it and it stunk to high hell. :P
#2 07/11/2011 Had a good night?
02:03 am Dude where are you?? I've been lookin for you and my sister for more than an hour now and can't find you. My parents will kill me if I don't bring T... home!
02:07 am I already left and regarding your sister... well, ehm... how should I put this... don't worry about her! Please don't flip, but I brought her home! Am there, too... But why you just come home, too! ;)
02:11 am I'll be there in 10 minutes. In 9 minutes you should better have your pants back on and on your way to Mexico with a new identity you sonofa...!!!
#4 07/11/2011 Had a good night?
04:12 am Can you pick me up?
04:14 am Where are you?
04:18 am Don't know. But I can see the moon!
#5 07/11/2011 Had a good night?
01:40 am Hey dad got a problem... sitting here at the train station with four friends train won't be here until 4:00 can you pick us up I don't feel like walking... we can't leave the girls behind, they just tried to dance naked on the train tracks.... see you soon F.
01:45 am Instead of capturing the girls on film, you probably told them to stop fooling around. Son, there's still a lot you have to learn...
#6 07/11/2011 Had a good night?
02:23 am Hey Amanda, your mother's here, she's making out with some dude who is so incredibly ugly, you gotta come here and see this
02:25 am ...is guess that dude would be my dad!
#7 07/11/2011 Had a good night?
09:53 am You kept trying to climb the stairs but were standing three feet away. Then you slowly turned around and said "I think my foot can move through walls."
#8 07/11/2011 Had a good night?
09:57 am Next time we fuck, a squirrel should be watching.
10:13 am There are reasons why I don't tell my friends about you.
#9 07/11/2011 Had a good night?