...Did I do last night?

9:57 pm are you still with your cousin?
9:58 pm no why, do you want to fuck her?
9:59 pm no i told you already i was drunk when i sent her that text. but your pretty much telling me to cheat on you..
10:05 pm your words, not mine.
#25 07/18/2011 Had a good night?
4:55 pm Our plane just landed in San Diego, tell us how to get to your place. Or can you pick us up at the airport?
5:02 pm Idiots! I live in San FRANCISCO!!!
#24 07/17/2011 Had a good night?
3:50 am Just got home. There's a naked girl in my bed who I've never seen before...
4:12 am Oh, I didn't know you're into girls, but if you were a guy this would be like hitting the jackpot. How did she get there?
4:35 am I just found out what happened! My brother picked her up. But suddenly he lost interest in her, but didn't want to send her home. So he thought if she woke up next to me in the morning, she's be so surprised that she'd leave without asking questions.
#23 07/17/2011 Had a good night?
01:17 am You are soooo dead to me! I eat shit like you for breakfast!
01:34 am You eat shit for breakfast?!
#22 07/17/2011 Had a good night?
11:04 am Honey, I have both good and a bad news: I'm back from my vacation, but hardly have time to see you!
11:23 am So which is the bad news?!
#21 07/17/2011 Had a good night?
10:02 am Just woke up from the dead. Guys, it's OK if you empty the contents of my fridge. But why the fuck would you STEAL my fridge??! Please bring it back!
#20 07/17/2011 Had a good night?
4:35 am Damn, what happened the last two hours?? And where was I?
4:38 am I don’t know but you barfed in my aquarium and now all my fish are dead -.-
#19 07/14/2011 Had a good night?
1:30 am Honey... you should probably put that Caipirinha away, or else this night might end badly for you...
1:35 am But there’s no place I can put it
1:37 am Is there a floor??? :-D
1:39 am Oh, wait, let me check.
#18 07/14/2011 Had a good night?
0:29 am You cheating bastard, I know exactly where you went. You visited your EX! You owe me an explanation!
9:07 am ??? for pissing on her front door? payback's a bitch.
10:01 am That’s a pretty damn good excuse :) xox
#17 07/12/2011 Had a good night?
9:53 am You kept trying to climb the “stairs but were standing three feet away. Then you slowly turned around and said “I think my foot can move through walls.”
#16 07/12/2011 Had a good night?