...Did I do last night?

1:14 pm A wasp just stung my balls, now I have a boner. I think I’ll keep the wasp as a pet, might come in handy some day!
#47 07/24/2011 Had a good night?
11:20 am Honey! Hey, I have a question. I thought we partied at my place yesterday? Why is everything all spiff, shiny and clean, did we party somewhere else?
11:23 am Hey, sure thing, we were all at your place. Awesome party! That birthday will stick in our memories. We cleaned everything up before we left!
11:26 am Wow, thanks for cleaning up! However, I’m wondering whose cat that is in my bathroom??
#46 07/24/2011 Had a good night?
New Jersey
11:54 pm Give me three good reasons why I should come to the bar?
11:58 pm 1: First round's on me 2 + 3: You'll catch a fantastic view of Nina's tits
0:02 am See ya in a few minutes!
#45 07/24/2011 Had a good night?
9:19 pm Why won't you sleep with me?
9:33 pm You know how in public restrooms, you never want to touch the faucet because hundreds of people have already touched it with their dirty hands, it's full of bacteria and hardly ever cleaned and you could probably get all kinds of diseases from it?
#44 07/24/2011 Had a good night?
2:00 pm Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened!
2:06 pm I'm smiling because it's over!
#43 07/24/2011 Had a good night?
9:30 am I Just came out of the bathroom.... while I was in there I realized my underwear is on inside out. Wow
#42 07/23/2011 Had a good night?
7:23 am Damn, what an awesome party!!!!! And I have a hot chick lying next to me!!
7:26 am Haha, yeah right. You're such a tool. You fell asleep before the party even started. We brought you back home to Mommy. ;)
7:29 am My Mom says hi. Wanna come by for breakfast?
#41 07/23/2011 Had a good night?
2:10 am Drunk please pick me up
2:40 am Did you pick me up or how did I get back home?
#40 07/23/2011 Had a good night?
3:15 am Hey guys where r u and where is my jacket?
3:18 am We’re right next to you and you left your jacket at the coat room, drunk fool
3:30 am I can’t find my jacket...
#38 07/21/2011 Had a good night?
2:24 am I HATE YOU. You want to know the truth? OK yes, you're bad-ass ugly!
3:07 am Thanks for that incredible, late-night message. But if YOU want to know the truth, I never found your hairy arms very sexy, and your freckles look like pimples. Oh, and try brushing your teeth, I never knew how to tell you, but I can always smell your breath ten miles away.
11:35 am Ehm... thanks... but that text was not meant for you. I sent it everyone last night, but it was meant for my boyfriend because we had a fight. Have a nice rest of your life.
#37 07/21/2011 Had a good night?
Rhode Island